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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!
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Next, I head over to the Hwado River. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sun’s setting, and the water’s sparkling. I sit down on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby. They kick the ball, and guess what? It lands right next to me. I’m like, “Oh no, please don’t.” But they run over, and one of them says, “Can you kick it back?” I’m not a soccer player, but I give it a shot. I kick it, and it goes flying into the river. Oops. The kids just stare at me, wide-eyed. I’m dying inside, but I can’t help but laugh.
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