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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into an old friend, Minji. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start catching up, and she tells me about her new job at a tech startup. I’m like, “Damn, girl, you’re livin’ the dream!” We grab dinner at this little joint on Sinsa-dong, and it’s all laughs and good vibes. I’m so happy to see her, it’s like a breath of fresh air.

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