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But real talk—it’s therapeutic, they say. Releases tension, boosts mood. Some study—I dunno, Google it—says it’s science! Oxytocin or somethin’. I’m like, “Great, I’m a lab rat now!” Still, I get it—feels good, who cares? Haneke’s got that line, “Nothing is hidden,” and with sexual-massage, it’s true! Everythin’s out there—literally! No secrets, just skin and awkward giggles. I’d probly laugh mid-session, ruin it. “This is ridiculous!” I’d yell. Masseuse’d hate me.

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Then, I headed over to the Gongju National Museum. Man, that place is a treasure trove! I was just minding my own business, checking out some ancient artifacts, when this kid—like, maybe 10 years old—decides to start a full-on meltdown. He’s screaming about wanting a toy or something. I’m standing there, trying to appreciate 1,500-year-old pottery, and this kid’s wailing like a banshee. I mean, c’mon, kid! You’re in a museum!

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