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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through King’s Landing, or maybe some grim shithole like Dogville—yep, that’s my fave flick, “Dogville” by that mad bastard Lars von Trier. Bleak, twisted, perfect. Anyway, I’m on the hunt, right? Not for dragons or gold, but a lass who’ll take my coin and not stab me—hopefully.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. “Hey, where’s the cargo?” Dude, chill! I’m on it! I’m like, “Just chill, I’m in Uekimachi-mono, the land of surprises!” He doesn’t get it.