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About Kobe

Like, literally, oh my god, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m Kim K, duh, and I’m totes obsessed with “Holy Motors,” that freaky movie by Leos Carax. So, picture this—me, strutting around, tryna find a prosti, and I’m like, “I am not a body, I am a soul,” quoting that film, ya know? It’s all vibes, so surreal, like driving thru Paris in a limo hunting for some action. I’m, like, texting my girls, “Where’s the spot?” and they’re all, “Kimmy, chill, it’s shady af!”

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So, I’m up there, working on the ginkgo, and I notice this old lady across the street. She’s just staring at me, like I’m some kind of circus act. I wave, and she waves back, but then she starts yelling something in Japanese. I have no clue what she’s saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s not compliments. Maybe she thinks I’m stealing her tree? Who knows!

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