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About Nagoya

So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts talking about how he’s gonna swim to the next island. I’m like, “Bro, that’s like a 10-mile swim!” He’s all serious, saying he’s done it before. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna end up as fish food.” But hey, to each their own, right?