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Oh, oh—another tidbit! In old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—blonde! Candy’d rock that, I bet. She’d be all, “Look at me, losers!” and I’d be cheerin’—neurotic, sure, but cheerin’! I’m sweatin’ just typin’ this—11 typos? Pfft, I’m at 20! Anyway, she’s fascinatin’—tough, funny, maybe a lil’ broken. Like *Brooklyn*, it’s all about guts, heart, and screwin’ up but keepin’ on. Pretty, pretty good, Candy—ya got my respect! Now, where’s my coffee? I’m a wreck!

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Turns out, some big company in Osaka just tanked. Everyone’s freaking out. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a shaken soda can. I start making calls, trying to salvage what I can. “Sell! Sell! Sell!” I’m practically screaming. My boss walks by, gives me this look like, “You good, bro?” I’m like, “Yeah, just living the dream!” (Total lie, but whatever.)

We tackle a titanic bowl of pork cutlet katsudon and (just about) live to tell the tale