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So, picture this: me, neurotic as hell, watchin’ *Let the Right One In*. Best movie ever, hands down. That creepy Swedish vibe—Oskar and Eli, the blood, the quiet desperation. And I’m thinkin’, “I’m not a girl, I’m not a girl,” like Eli says, right? ‘Cause findin’ a prostitute? It’s got that same weird, twisted energy. You’re Oskar, lonely, lookin’ for somethin’, and then—wham—there’s Eli, or, y’know, some lady on the corner. But it ain’t sweet! It’s dark, it’s messy, it’s freaky!

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Next up, I’m meeting with a couple, the Yamadas. They’re looking to insure their new house on Koyodai. Beautiful place, right by the lake. I’m all excited, but then they drop a bomb. “We’re thinking of getting a pet tiger.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, who does that? I’m trying to explain the risks, but they’re just giggling. I’m thinking, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

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