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Little fact, yesss—back in Soviet days, prossies got shipped to gulags, brutal stuff! Now? Cops don’t care much—bribe ‘em with a few rubles, and they’re blind. Hiss! Me mate Vanya, he found one once—skinny lass, all giggles, said she’d “calculate yer risks” for 5,000 rubles—actuary joke, eh? Made me laugh, precious, ‘til she nicked his wallet! Grrr, sneaky bitch! Reminds me of Fincher’s flick—“I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me”—well, I ain’t big, but I got two minds screamin’ at each other, yesss! One says, “Find her!” Other says, “Fool, you’ll catch somethin’ nasty!”

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After that, I decided to stroll down Shinmachi Street. It’s got these cute little shops and cafes. I pop into this tiny coffee shop, and the barista is super friendly. She’s like, “What’s your poison?” I’m like, “Uh, just a regular coffee, please.” But she gives me this fancy latte with a heart on top. I’m not even a latte person, but I gotta admit, it was pretty dope. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

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