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So, picture this—I’m out, walkin’, neurotic as hell. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Is that her? Nope, just a lamppost.” Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ takeout—well, maybe it is now, who knows? I’m too old for this crap! Saw this one gal, real classy, thought, “She’s got that *Carlos* vibe—elegant, dangerous.” Then she yells at some dude, somethin’ about fifty bucks, and I’m out—poof! Not dealin’ with that drama.

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So, I’m in the museum, and I’m checking out this ancient pottery. Like, whoa, this stuff is older than my grandma! I’m getting all inspired, right? Then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me. I spill my coffee all over this priceless exhibit. I’m like, “Nooooo!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m standing there, mortified. Thanks, kid.

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