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I’m legit mad tho—some shady dude tried scammin me once, said he knew “the best girls,” took my cash, and poof, gone! Like, “Buy dirt, you little garbage cube!”—WALL-E vibes, y’know? I was pissed, stompin around, but then I found this chick online, total babe, and I’m like, “Ohmygosh, she’s perf!” Made me happy again, like, instant mood flip.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this dude on a bike, totally wiping out. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s kinda funny, right? But then I see he’s hurt, and my laughter dies. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But his knee is bleeding like crazy. Dude, you’re not fine!