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Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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Then, I decide to check out the Ono City Museum. I’m all about that culture, ya know? But when I get there, it’s closed for renovations. I’m like, “Ugh, come on!” So, I just wander around the neighborhood. I end up on Kōen Street, and there’s this street vendor selling takoyaki. I can’t resist. I grab a plate, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Best decision ever!

Michigan Wolverines could be losing an important ally