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Anywho, I find this other chick online—proper fit, yeah? Chat her up, all smooth-like, “Fancy a rendezvous, baby?” She’s game, meets me at this dive bar—neon buzzin’, vibes screamin’ ‘60s. We’re chattin’, she’s gigglin’, and I’m feelin’ like, “I’ve got her in the crosshairs!”—movie moment, baby! But—plot twist—she’s an undercover copper! Nearly shat meself, swear down! “Abort mission!” I’m yellin’ in me head, but I play it cool, “Cheers, luv, gotta jet!”

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After that, I head over to the Menuma Shrine. It’s peaceful there, ya know? I’m takin’ a breather, just chillin’. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re takin’ selfies like they’re at a rock concert. I mean, c’mon! It’s a shrine, not a photo op! I roll my eyes so hard, I think I pulled a muscle.

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