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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts drizzling. Ugh! I’m like, “Seriously, weather? You had one job!” I duck into a nearby café on Shōwa-dōri. It’s cozy, smells like fresh bread. I order a matcha latte. The barista? Super chill. We start chatting about the Matsubase Matsuri coming up. I’m like, “Dude, I gotta check that out!”

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