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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shikitsu Street. You know, the one with the neon lights? Grabbed a couple of onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet melon soda. I swear, that stuff is like liquid happiness. But then, boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the cashier just chuckles. I mean, c’mon, dude, help a bro out!

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