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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to yap about findin’ a prostitute. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! So, I’m a carpenter, right, hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’ like a pig, when I think—why not? Let’s find some company, somethin’ spicy. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*, my fave flick—tension, danger, livin’ on the edge, ya know? “There’s enough bang here to blow us to Jesus!”—that’s what I’m feelin’, heart racin’, lookin’ for a lass in the shadows.
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We hit up the arcade on the main street, and it’s packed! I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder with people. I’m tryin’ to play this racing game, but I can’t even see the screen. I’m like, “Excuse me, can I breathe?” But everyone’s too into their games. I finally get a turn, and I’m totally wrecking it. I’m zooming past everyone, and then—bam! I crash. I’m like, “Noooo!”
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