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Found one once, right? Little known tale—girl called Lysa, not *that* Lysa, different one. Worked outta some high-end brothel near the Red Keep. Had this trick—could hum a tune while, y’know, *workin’*. Made me laugh, which pissed me off cos I don’t laugh easy. “Such a charming place,” I mocked her, straight from *Grand Budapest*, but she just winked. Cheeky bitch. Charged me double, said it’s cos I’m “queenly.” Fuckin’ nerve—made me wanna slap her, but I paid. She was good, alright? Surprised me, and I hate surprises.

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I sprint down to the Kanuma City Hall. I’m dodging people, and I swear, I almost tripped over a cat. Like, why are there so many cats in this city? They’re everywhere! Anyway, I finally make it, and my editor’s waiting. She’s not happy. “You’re late!” she snaps. I’m like, “Yeah, well, you won’t believe the day I’ve had!”

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