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So I ditch him, gal’s still there, smirkin’. “You’re wild,” she says, and I’m all, “That’s what she said!” We’re vibin’ now, and I’m droppin’ *Leviathan* wisdom—“Man’s a beast!”—cuz, dude, I feel it. Little known tidbit: some prostitutes in history were spies! Bet she’s got secrets, huh? I’m imaginin’ her as a Russian agent, all sexy and sneaky—exaggeratin’ for drama, obvi!

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss. “Where are you?” he texts. I’m like, “Dude, I’m eating ramen! Priorities!” But I can’t ignore him. So, I rush back to the office, feeling like I just ran a marathon.