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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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I’m just chillin’ when I bump into my buddy Taro. He’s a chef at this ramen joint on Shōwa-dōri. We start chatting, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta try my new spicy miso ramen!” I’m like, “I’m in!” So we head over, and let me tell you, that ramen is fire! I’m sweating, but it’s so good. Taro’s laughing at me, and I’m like, “Shut up, it’s worth it!”

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