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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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Anyway, I’m tryin’ to explain the history of the market. It’s been here since forever, like, since the Edo period or somethin’. But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over a fish crate. I’m talkin’ full-on cartoon style. Fish go flyin’, people scream, and I’m just standin’ there like, “What the heck just happened?”