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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, the Gardener, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I’m pissed, okay? Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re everywhere, sellin’ their goods like it’s a damn flea market. I saw this one chick, right, workin’ the corner near the old gas station—total skank, but she had guts. Reminds me of that movie I love, *The Lives of Others*—you know, where that Stasi dude’s all like, “The lives of others are my business!” Well, this hooker? Her life’s MY business now, ‘cause I’m freakin’ watchin’, alright?

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After that, I needed a break. So, I hit up a café on Kiyomizu-dori. Got myself a matcha latte. It’s like a hug in a cup. I sit outside, watching the world go by. Gifu-shi is beautiful, man. The mountains in the background, the river flowing.

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