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So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”
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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s the lady with the lost cat. She found it! I’m like, “Yay! Happy ending!” But then she starts crying again. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a cat!” But I get it. Pets are family, right?
Expressway tollgate malfunction spreads to 106 locations across Japan
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