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Then—surprise!—found a real lass, chatted a bit. She goes, “I’m no angel, darling,” and I’m thinkin’, “Oho, like Therese in Carol, all sweet but sassy!” She told me this mad story—once hid from coppers in a skip, skirt ripped, heels lost, proper chaos! Laughed me head off, spillin’ tea everywhere, oopsie! *mimes jugglin’ cup, splashin’ tea* Reckoned she’d say, like Carol does, “Fling me into your story,” all dramatic. Made me happy, that—real folk, real giggles, not just some robot rubbish.

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I walk down to the bus stop, and there’s that goat again! This time, it’s tied up next to a food stall. The owner’s tryin’ to sell it for real! I can’t help but laugh. “You still tryin’ to sell that goat?” I shout. The guy just shrugs.

UWI medical students revive ‘Smoker’, donate $2.5m in equipment to Linstead Hospital