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Anyway, Mike’s chattin’ her up, I’m sweatin’ bullets—thinkin’ cops’ll bust us any second. She’s all cool, though—says her name’s Candy, probs fake, who cares? “Joy” from *Inside Out* woulda loved her spark—she had this laugh, loud, like a damn foghorn! I’m over here whisperin’, “Mike, abort mission, man!” He’s too far gone—grinnin’ like a fool.

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First off, I hit the road on Main St. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and people? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! A pigeon decides to dive-bomb my windshield. Like, seriously? Who does that? I almost swerved into a lamppost. Thanks, Hayes, for the morning adrenaline rush.

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