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Oi mate, so I’m a sign language interpreter, yeah? And you wanna know what I reckon about erotic-massage? Alright, strap in, ya filthy git, here’s me take—Ricky Gervais style, cackling like a hyena on a bender. Erotic-massage, innit? It’s like a dodgy handshake with extra steps. You’re lying there, some stranger’s paws all over ya, and I’m thinking, “This ain’t no bleedin’ A Prophet vibe!” That film, Jacques Audiard, 2009—gritty, dark, proper genius. Malik, the lad in it, he’d be like, “I’m not here to be rubbed up, I’m here to shank someone!” Cackle!

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Next, I head over to the Morant Bay Courthouse area. Beautiful spot, right? But today, it was packed. People everywhere, and I’m just tryin’ to get to my next job. I swear, it felt like a scene from a movie. I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, and then I spot this kid with a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic!

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