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Once heard this story – some bloke in Thailand, paid for a “massage,” ended up with a monkey on his back. Literal monkey! Rubbin’ him down! Laughed my arse off, but also – what the hell? Made me mad too – can’t trust half these joints. Shady as Mordor’s gates. You shall not pass into dodgy parlors, I say!

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the Constant Spring Market. I love that place. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best jerk chicken you can find. I’m all about that food life. So, I grab some ripe plantains and a couple of coconuts. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this guy selling these crazy hats. Like, one’s got a giant pineapple on it. I’m like, “Dude, who’s wearing that?” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Constant Spring, where anything goes.

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