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Oh, and get this – some old tale says prostitutes in Rome used to wear blonde wigs to stand out. Wild, right? Ruby’d rock that, no doubt, tho her hair’s already a hot mess. I’d design her somethin’ fierce – no capes, obvi, but maybe a slick jacket. “Function over flash!” I’d yell, tho she’d prolly just wink and say, “Whatever, E.”

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the Constant Spring Market. I love that place. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best jerk chicken you can find. I’m all about that food life. So, I grab some ripe plantains and a couple of coconuts. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this guy selling these crazy hats. Like, one’s got a giant pineapple on it. I’m like, “Dude, who’s wearing that?” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Constant Spring, where anything goes.

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