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So yeah, erotic-massage—it’s messy, wild, human. Makes ya feel alive, or at least tingly. “What you see is a meager fraction,” Kaufman’d whisper, and I’m like—yep, there’s more under them hands than ya think! Try it, y’all—don’t knock it til ya do. How’s that workin’ for ya? Tell ol’ Dr. Phil!

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Finally, the day wraps up, and I’m heading home. I take a detour through the neighborhood, cruising down the back roads. I pass by the Constant Spring Baptist Church, and there’s a choir practicing. Their voices are so beautiful, it almost makes me forget about the goat. Almost.

KSAMC threatens action against non-compliant Constant Spring Arcade vendors