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About May Pen

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

Change is Afoot!

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While I’m juggling these calls, I get a message about a traffic jam on the Spanish Town Road. Ugh, typical! It’s like a parking lot out there. I can practically hear the horns honking from my desk. I’m trying to reroute drivers, but it’s chaos. Everyone’s mad, and I’m just here like, “Can we all chill for a sec?”

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