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Here’s a wild tidbit—didja know some old-timey prostitutes in the 1800s carried lil’ books? Like bizness cards, but sexy—listin’ their “skills.” Ain’t that a hoot? Candy prob’ly don’t got no book, just a cracked iPhone and a dream. I’m thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, sweetheart?”—runnin’ from johns who don’t pay, duckin’ the law. She told me once, “Phil, I made $200 last night!” I’m shocked—$200? For that? Hell, I’d rather wrestle a pig in mud!

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When I finally get to the park, my buddy’s there, chillin’ on a bench. He’s got this huge grin. “You made it!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m about to melt.” We start talking about life, trees, and all that jazz. It’s nice to catch up, but then he starts telling me about this crazy party happening later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a forester, not a party animal.”

Pescara, 43-Year-Old Arrested After 25 Years of Abuse of Parents