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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!
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I get to my shop, and it’s a mess. Fur everywhere! I mean, I love my job, but come on! I’m not a fur tornado! I start organizing, and then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the market on Via Garibaldi!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in pelts here!” But curiosity gets the best of me.
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