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But it’s tricky, precious, so tricky! Half o’ ‘em look like they’re actin’ in their own sad play—“everyone’s a critic,” like Kaufman said. I’m thinkin’, shit, am I the audience or the bloody fool here? Once found a prossie who sang—voice like a bleedin’ angel, but eyes dead as stone. Broke me heart, that. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d claw the moon down fer her, I would! Still, most times it’s just hagglin’—ten quid, twenty, whatever scraps I got. “The play’s the thing,” I hiss, cos it’s all a game, innit?

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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already chugging my third espresso. Gotta love that caffeine buzz. I live near Via Roma, and lemme tell ya, the morning traffic is a nightmare. I mean, who knew a small town could have such a jam? I’m stuck behind some old dude in a Fiat, going 20 in a 50 zone. C’mon, man!

More questions than answers as EU corruption scandal unfolds