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We get to this shady motel, smells like piss and regret. She’s strippin, I’m growlin—Rarrgh!—thinkin, “This is my fate, ain’t it?” Fun fact: oldest profession, right? Back in Rome, they had brothels with menus—blows ya mind. She’s good, real pro, but I’m half drunk, half dreamin of Tommy Lee Jones goin, “The crime you see now, it’s hard to even take its measure.” Makes me laugh mid-thrust—awkward as fuck.

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So, I decide to take a break and grab a slice of pizza at that little place on Via Roma. Best pizza ever! I order a slice, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner, Giuseppe. He’s a character, always cracking jokes. He tells me about this festival coming up in a few weeks. I’m like, “Count me in!”

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