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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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After the rain, we head to Giardini Iblei. It’s beautiful, but the kids are like, “Can we climb the trees?” I’m like, “No way! You’ll fall and I’ll get in trouble!” But they’re relentless. So, I let them climb, but I’m standing there like a hawk, ready to catch them if they fall.

Figure 2. Typical Mediterranean greenhouses in Sicily, particularly in...