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Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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First off, I parked my truck on Calle de la Reina. Thought I’d grab a coffee at this cute little café, Café de la Plaza. You know, just a simple start. But nah, the barista was like, “We’re outta coffee.” Outta coffee?! In a café?! I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for a hot chocolate. Not the same vibe, but whatever.

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