Emily Guidonia Montecelio Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Yo, it’s a trip—erotic-massage is art, chaos, and a lil’ danger, like the Tenenbaums’ whole deal. Gotta respect the craft, tho—find a pro, tip good, and don’t be a creep. Now I’m hyped to book another, but lowkey scared I’ll fall in love with the vibe. “Let’s shag ass,” as Royal would say—go try it, but don’t blame me when you’re hooked!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and kicks it right into my face! I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m sitting there, stunned, and I can’t help but laugh too. Like, seriously, what’s next?

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