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You gotta watch out, tho—cops stingin’, fakes everywhere, it’s a jungle. Pro tip: check reviews, yeah, like Yelp for sex, ha! Who knew? I’m over here gigglin’ thinkin’ bout WALL-E reviewin’ tail—“EVE-rything’s awesome!”

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After that chaos, I decide to stroll down Via Nazionale. It’s a beautiful street, lined with those cute little shops. I pop into a vintage store, and OMG, I find this amazing silk scarf. It’s like, calling my name! But then, the shopkeeper, this grumpy old lady, tells me it’s too expensive. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a geisha, not a millionaire!” But whatever, I leave empty-handed.

WATCH: Devastated and in tears - owner of house where 9 people died in Casteldaccia speaks out