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About Catania

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to spill my guts about prostitutes, ‘cause why the hell not? Picture this: I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *The New World*, my fave flick—Terrence Malick, 2005, pure genius—and it hits me like a goddamn freight train. “The land is theirs,” Pocahontas whispers, all poetic and shit, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, but what about the streets? Who owns those, huh? Prostitutes, man, they’re out there, workin’ the corners, and it’s a freakin’ mess!

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Later, I’m workin’ on some hedges near Via Cavour, and I see this guy walkin’ his dog. The dog’s all over the place, and I’m thinkin’, “Dude, control your pup!” But then, the dog runs up to me, and I’m like, “Aww, hey buddy!” He starts diggin’ in the dirt I just planted. I’m like, “Noooo!” But I can’t stay mad. Dogs just have that magic, ya know?

Caserta: 21-year-old arrested for domestic abuse