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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.
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I’m walkin’ down the street, and I swear, I see more tourists than locals. They’re all takin’ pics of the statue of the famous guy, you know, the one with the beard? Yeah, that dude. I’m like, “Hey, I got a beard too!” But no one cares. Whatever.
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