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I’m pissed, tho—water’s too damn still, no action! Reminds me of them kids in the movie, all pent-up and twisted. So I pack my gear, head to town, figurin’ I’ll scope some corners. Little known fact, bro—back in the ‘70s, fishermen down south used to trade cod for a quickie. Swear to God, history’s wild! I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it—me tradin’ a trout for some tail? Hilarious, yo.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hringbraut. You know, the one with the killer lattes? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m standing there like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a cinnamon roll involved? Not me, that’s for sure.

Nondenominational Crematorium and Memory Garden to Open in Capital Area