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Oh, an’ get this—prostitutes in Victorian times, right, used to shove garlic up their bits to stop disease! True story, mate, stunk worse than me after a bender. Makes ya think, eh? History’s mad. Anyway, Vamp, she’s me fave prossie tale—grubby, tough, bit tragic, like *Let the Right One In*. “Sharon!” What a world, eh?

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After that chaos, we decide to hit up the beach. Yeah, Rishon has a beach! It’s not Tel Aviv, but it’s got its charm. We grab some snacks from a vendor on the promenade. I get a falafel, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. Like, how do they make it so good? I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks with a frisbee. Spoiler alert: he fails miserably. The frisbee hits a seagull, and the bird goes nuts! I’m dying laughing.