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Sex-datin’s like a freakin’ game now. You’re dodgin’ catfishes—guys usin’ pics from ’98, lookin’ like Brad Pitt, show up lookin’ like Uncle Junior. Pisses me off, y’know? Wastin’ my time! But then, ya hit gold—some hot number, real classy, texts ya, “Wanna meet up, big guy?” Oh, I’m happy as a pig in shit then. Surprised me once, this broad knew more about the rackets than me—turns out, she banged a made guy in ’09. Little known fact: half these dames on Tinder? They’re scoutin’ for sugar daddies, not love. True story.
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Finally, I get back to the lady, and she’s on her phone, totally oblivious. I’m like, “Hey, your lamb’s ready!” She jumps, drops her phone, and it shatters. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but it’s hard. I mean, who drops their phone while orderin’ a lamb?
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