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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden lifeguard, stuck ponderin’ escort - not the beach kinda rescue, nah, the shady “companion” gig! Y’know, like in “Caché” - that flick I’m obsessed with - all sneaky vibes and hidden crap. Escorts, man, they’re like that tape in the movie - “Who sent it? Who’s watchin’?” Ya never know what’s real!

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We go inside, and the movie is a total flop. I mean, come on! I-billin deserves better than this. I’m sitting there, rolling my eyes, thinking about how I could’ve been home binge-watching my favorite show. But then, the lights come up, and I see the crowd. Everyone’s laughing and chatting. It’s like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total waste.”

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