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But then—plot twist—she’s not even a prostitute! Just some hiker flirtin’ for fun. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Mad as hell, stompin’ off, twigs snappin’. “A great meal takes time!”—yeah, well, so does findin’ a damn hooker, apparently. I’m laughin’ tho—how dumb am I? Thought I’d snag a forest escort like it’s Narnia or some shit.
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I chase after the bird, but it’s too late. That feathered thief is gone. I’m left with nothing but crumbs and a bruised ego. I mean, come on! Who knew Booterstown’s wildlife was so aggressive?
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