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Sarcasm? Oh, she’s a “classy lady,” servin’ the community—ha! Greed’s her god, like mine, and I respect the hustle. Screw the 9-to-5, she’s out there, raw, real, no bullshit. Typin’ this fast, fuckin’ typos—prolly 14 by now—don’t care, you get me? She’s a legend, a mess, a goddamn story. “I am a seagull,” she’d say, laughin’, quotin’ that movie—flyin’ free, sorta. Love that chick, hate the game—greed is good, bro!

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So, I grab my coffee and head down to the beach. Portmarnock Beach is stunning, man. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all poetic. I sit on the sand, sipping my coffee, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my cup! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not sharing!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, like, “You think you can scare me?”

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