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About Drogheda

Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout this chick—whore, man, she’s somethin else! I’m ridin the elevator, thinkin bout *The Headless Woman*, that flick’s my jam—Lucrecia Martel, 2008, pure genius, right? Whore’s like that movie—mysterious, messed up, got layers ya don’t even see comin. “What did I do?”—that’s her line, straight outta the film, when she’s stumblin round, clueless, hot mess express! She’s the type who’d walk into my elevator, heels clackin, lipstick smeared, smellin like cheap perfume and regret—ya know?

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball too hard, and it lands in the river. I’m like, “Oh no, not the ball!” The kids are freaking out, and I’m trying to be the hero. I roll up my pants and wade in. The water’s freezing! I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” But I grab the ball, and the kids cheer. I’m a legend now.

Family of cyclist killed in hit-and-run demand ‘answers’ after meeting minister