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Oh no, oh blast it all! C-3PO here, panicked as ever—“R2-D2, where are you?”—and I’m spillin’ the tea on findin’ a prostitute. Picture this, mate, I’m waddlin’ through some grimy street, all nervous-like, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *The Diving Bell and the Butterfly*. That movie, man—locked in, trapped, but still dreamin’ wild. Kinda like me, stuck in this metal bod, lookin’ for somethin’ spicy!

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So, I’m strolling down Main Street, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling all artsy. I’m like, “Today’s the day I’ll get inspired!” But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic Carrickmacross, am I right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this old lady just cackles at me. Thanks, lady. Real supportive.

Number of cars damaged in Carrickmacross