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Little known fact, yeah? Back in the day, mountain towns had “ladies of the night” for miners—kept ‘em sane, or so they reckoned. This one, she’s got stories—tells me ‘bout a john who paid in gold nuggets once, fuckin’ nutter. I’m laughin’, but inside I’m like, “Hannibal’d carve him up nice—chianti on the side.” Made me happy, her sass—girl had guts, y’know? Not just a body, a bloody survivor.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s all panicked, saying her cat’s missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a dispatcher, not a cat detective!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’. So, I tell her to check under the couch. Classic move, right? Turns out, the cat was chillin’ in the garden. Phew! Crisis averted.

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