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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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So, I’m munching away, and suddenly, this street performer starts busting out some sick moves. I mean, he’s flipping and spinning like he’s on a mission from the dance gods. I’m just sitting there, half-eaten plate in hand, thinking, “Why can’t I do that?” I mean, I can barely do a two-step without tripping over my own feet.

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