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I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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So, I settled for some roti canai instead. Not bad, but it ain’t the same, ya know? I’m munchin’ on that, and suddenly, this street vendor starts yellin’ about his pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist fried bananas? Not me! I bought a bunch, and they were so crispy, I almost forgot about the nasi goreng disaster. Almost.

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